Legion

Movie Name: Legion
Year of Release: 2010
Director: Scott Stewart
Starring: Paul Bettany, Lucas Black, Dennis Quaid, Adrianne Palicki, Charles S. Dutton, Kate Walsh, Jon Tenney, Willa Holland, Tyrese Gibson, Kevin Durand, Doug Jones, Jeanette Miller, Josh Stamberg
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 1
Watch it on Amazon Prime

Synopsis and Review

"Legion" is Scott Stewart's feature directorial debut, following a robust career in the visual effects discipline (he worked on films such as Tim Burton's "Mars Attacks!", Robert Rodriguez's "Sin City", and Steven Spielberg's "The Lost World: Jurassic Park"). The film follows the story of the angel Michael, whom we first encounter severing his wings so he can tackle the salvation of an unborn child, which holds the key for the salvation of humanity. In the meantime, in a diner, in the middle of nowhere, its owner Bob Hanson is dealing with a family who is stranded due to a car issue (Howard and Sandra Anderson, alongside their daughter Audrey). The waitress working in the diner, Charlie, is expecting a child any day now, and Bob's son Jeep, is helping her any way he can, even though he's not the child's father. Another man with secrets converges on that diner, a man by the name of Kyle Williams who stops for gas on his way to LA. Also at the diner is Percy, the cook and longtime friend of Bob and Jeep. The events at the diner quickly escalate when the television, radio, and telephone stop working. They are soon joined by an elderly woman by the name of Gladys who initially seems sweet and agreeable, but soon reveals herself to be vicious, and aggressively charges against Howard, lethally biting him. While Kyle shoots her, more challenges present themselves, as a swarm of flies surrounds the diner. Michael appears with a set of guns and instructs everyone to get back in the diner and attack anyone who attempts to enter the premises, as whoever does it is possessed, and wants Charlie's child, who is the savior of mankind. While everyone is in disbelief, they soon realize what Michael is saying is possibly truthful, as hordes of people converge on the diner, intending on attacking it.

For a film with a script as bare bones as this one, this film just seemed to keep going (or maybe because of the inexistent script, it really did seem like it kept on going). Sadly for Scott Stewart's directorial career (and writing, since he is also credited with the writing), this film marks a rather inauspicious beginning (his subsequent films didn't fare much better). The script's structure and its main characters' motivations are non existent, and this film seems to exist with the sole purpose of presenting supernatural/fantastical creatures with guns shooting at each other, with semi well choreographed fight scenes (not very well choreographed to be quite honest). Michael and Gabriel, the angels at odds with each other, are presented as Roman soldiers (apparently angels dress like extras from "Cleopatra" and "Spartacus"), and much like Francis Lawrence's "Constantine", they seem to exist on Earth, though one would never know since there isn't much context building, or much of understanding why these pseudo angels have guns and fight each other.  As Ed Wood would say, and Tim Burton so exquisitely illustrated in the film with the same name, details don't matter, it's all about the big picture. Only in this case, the big picture never really manifests into something coherent, and the fact that these characters are killing average people who are possessed, is of no consequence: the guns are there for a purpose and they're not going to shoot themselves. This mind boggling film that has no coherence, taste, or even discernment, has a diverse cast, headed by the talented Paul Bettany, who somehow manages to escape unscathed from this mess (he even made another film with this director named "Priest"). The diverse cast includes the very talented Charles S. Dutton (who was impeccable in David Fincher's "Alien 3"), the usual collaborator of Guillermo Del Toro, Doug Jones (who barely does anything), and a variety of TV actors, all perplexed at this mess they're in. Dennis Quaid also makes an appearance as an aging diner owner, and the description is as generic as his performance. The production team is solid, including John Lindley's cinematography, John Frizzell's score, and Jeff Higinbotham's production design. This is truly a head scratcher, something that is borderline unwatchable, with a great set of professionals, who sadly can't do anything to make it any better. Avoid. 

Happy Death Day

Movie Name: Happy Death Day
Year of Release: 2017
Director: Christopher Landon
Starring: Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard, Ruby Modine, Charles Aitken, Laura Clifton, Jason Bayle, Rachel Matthews, Phi Vu, Tenea Intriago, Ramsey Anderson, Jimmy Gonzales
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 5
Watch it on Amazon Prime

Synopsis and Review

Christopher Landon who has had a prolific career as a writer, started his feature directorial career with "Burning Palms" in 2010, and has consistently been directing low to mid level budgeted films that have become quite successful (a lot of them in association with Jason Blum's "Blumhouse Productions").  "Happy Death Day" follows the story of Tree Gelbman, who wakes up in the dorm room of Carter Davis, a classmate of hers, after an evening of what appears to be hard partying. It's her birthday, she hardly remembers Carter, and she rapidly leaves, in the direction of her sorority house. Her roommate Spengler gives her a celebratory cupcake, which she dismisses. She's late for class, where she meets her married professor, Gregory. They're having a fling, much to the suspicion of his trusting wife. That evening on her way to a party, Tree is murdered by a figure wearing a mask. She immediately wakes up, once again on Carter's bed, and relives her day much like what had just happened. However she avoids the tunnel and does reach the party. Her illusion of safety is shattered, when the killer traces her location and once again kills her. Once again she wakes up in Carter's bed, and she realizes she's repeating her birthday over and over again. She eventually explains to Carter what is happening, and he suggests that she takes advantage of the loop to figure out who is the killer. 

Harold Ramis' modern classic "Groundhog Day" has created its own sub genre in the comedy domain. "Happy Death Day" takes the premise of the time loop and places it squarely in the slasher genre, creating an interesting variation of the original theme, mixing elements of comedy with elements of the horror genre. This time around the perpetual victim has an opportunity to uncover who is her killer, in the process getting to learn more about herself, and what got her in that predicament to begin with. Sadly though, whereas in Harold Ramis' film we got to learn more about Phil Connors/Bill Murray as the narrative progressed, in this feature Christopher Landon doesn't give us much in terms of who Tree actually is, aside from eventually providing a reconciliation scene with her father, whom she alienated after her mother's death (also, apparently screenwriters don't even try to come up with credible people's names anymore, I'm expecting Petal, Bush, and Leaf to soon make their way into unfortunate characters' names). "Happy Death Day" manages to hold the audience's attention since it has two great things going for it: firstly, the creative team has realized this is nothing but a slick B-movie, and secondly, they've smartly held off any pretension at bay, peppered the feature with a few influences ranging from Michael Lehmann's "Heathers" to Mark Waters' "Mean Girls", and didn't take anything very seriously. This somewhat unpretentious approach works in the film's favor, and also allows for the performers to inhabit these rather undeveloped characters with some charm. Jessica Rothe does a good job inhabiting the lead character, and has solid support from Israel Broussard and Rachel Matthews. The production team is competent, including Bear McCreary's score, Toby Oliver's cinematography, and Cece De Stefano's production design. It's a watchable and mildly entertaining feature. 

Triangle of Sadness

Movie Name: Triangle of Sadness
Year of Release: 2022
Director: Ruben Ostlund
Starring: Harris Dickinson, Charlbi Dean, Dolly De Leon, Vicki Berlin, Woody Harrelson, Zlatko Buric, Henrik Dorsin, Amanda Walker, Oliver Ford Davies, Iris Berben, Carolina Gynning, Sunnyi Melles, Jean-Christophe Folly, Arvin Kananian
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 6
Watch it on Amazon Prime

Synopsis and Review

Following his Palm D'Or winning film "The Square" in 2017, writer/director Ruben Ostlund returned to the same festival 5 years later, and won a second Palm (other directors to have won two Palm D'Or awards include Francis Ford Coppola, Bille August, and Emir Kusturica). "Triangle of Sadness" focuses on the story of male model Carl, whom we first encounter in a casting session. We soon witness him having a cringe inducing dinner with his girlfriend, the also model Yaya. Their discussion soon veers towards finances, but above all, about gender dynamics and power. Soon after this episode both Carl and Yaya are enjoying a relaxing break at a luxury yacht. They connect with a series of other guests, including the millionaire Dimitry who is also enjoying a break with his partner Vera, and another elderly couple, Winston and Clementine, who have made their fortune from arms dealing. The crew of the yacht is stoked about serving the guests, because they know a hefty tip is lying ahead for them at the end of the journey. The captain of the vessel in the meantime refuses to get out of his cabin, where he's indulging in various beverages and drugs. He finally agrees to emerge from his hideout for a celebratory dinner, coincidentally during an evening where a lot of bad weather is expected. As the dinner celebration is taking place, a storm erupts, leading to severe turbulence, which results in most guests having issues holding their food down. The yacht eventually capsizes and only a few guests manage to escape alive, to what seems a remote island. As the survivors try to navigate their newfound situation, they soon realize they're depending on Abigail, a woman who was in charge of the toilets at the yacht, but who now provides for their food sources, and even their heat/shelter. 

"Triangle of Sadness" is a film where the intellectual exercise of its creator (Mr. Ruben Ostlund) is clearly energized by the message he wants to convey. And the message goes across all directions, including the vapidness of beauty (and influencers), the shallowness of youth, the power play that exists in relationships, the wealth of a few at the expense of many, including the death of millions, and the list goes on. Mr. Ostlund's attempts at creating a microcosms representative of everything that is damaged about modern society is ambitious, and at times successful, sadly this film has a massive issue pertaining to the lack of characters that are actually more than just a simple cliché. And I'm not saying this because of any type of morality aspect that these characters fail to illustrate or demonstrate: regardless of them being amoral or cynical or whatever other quality trait the writer/director chooses for them to embody, they still have to be able to demonstrate motivation, have an arc, something that illustrates who these individuals are besides a limited list of characteristics that summarize their existence. It's a film that has some good points, namely in the third chapter, as Abigail's role takes on a different dimension, and how she as a woman, provider, leverages her newfound power to navigate that group, its dynamics, and even gender roles. It's also a film that has some questionable taste level, namely during the dinner scene at the yacht, which features more than is necessary to be illustrated in any film (one can argue that Pier Paolo Pasolini's "Saló" also crosses many lines, but that film is a line crosser from beginning to end). The cast is very eclectic and creates an interesting tapestry for what this director is intending to communicate. Dolly De Leon and Harris Dickinson give solid performances, and have good support from Vicki Berlin, Zlatko Buric, and Woody Harrelson. The production team is solid, including Fredrik Wenzel's cinematography and Josefin Asberg's production design. It's an interesting film that may not be for everyone's taste, but it's worth watching nonetheless. 

After the Hunt

Movie Name: After the Hunt
Year of Release: 2025
Director: Luca Guadagnino 
Starring: Julia Roberts, Ayo Edebiri, Andrew Garfield, Michael Stuhlbarg, Chloe Sevigny, Lio Mehiel, David Leiber, Thaddea Graham, Will Price, Nora Garrett, Christine Dye
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 7
Watch it on Amazon Prime

Synopsis and Review

"After the Hunt" premiered at the Venice Film Festival of 2025 where it was met with mixed reviews. By the time it premiered in the American market, the reviews were even harsher, the first for the very talented Luca Guadagnino. The film, written by Nora Garrett (her first produced script), follows the story of Alma, a philosophy teacher at Yale, whom we first encounter during a soirée that she and her husband have organized. During that evening we get to meet Alma's close knit of colleagues and students, including her handsome and flirtatious colleague Hank, her students Maggie, Katie and Arthur. Hank flirts with Alma during the evening, and she politely shields herself from any possible awkward situations. Her husband Frederik keeps a close eye on everyone. The following day Alma is surprised to see Maggie at her front door, clearly distressed. Maggie shares that following Alma's soirée, Hank volunteered to walk her home, and they both decided to have a night cap at her apartment. Maggie's partner Alex wasn't there. Maggie shares that a situation developed, and that something inappropriate between them happened, something she wasn't consensual with. She's unsure if she's going to press charges, but she has decided to share what happened with Alma for support. Alma is surprised, and unsure of what to do. Hank also approaches her and tells her his perspective of the events: he uncovered the fact Maggie had been plagiarizing her papers, and wanted to confront her. He states nothing happened, but fears that whatever emerges will destroy his career. As he predicted himself, Maggie's narrative precipitates a series of events, one of which results in Hank's dismissal. As the events from that situation continue to escalate, Alma's discomfort also increases, leading her to unpredictable behaviors. 

Luca Guadagnino is one of the most interesting directors working these days. He has an uncanny ability to bring stories to life, combining character development, with world building, all married with a stylistic perspective, which makes him a unique talent. "After the Hunt" which comes wrapped in what seems to be a "Me Too" type of narrative, soon moves in a different direction, one that is an exploration of who Alma is, and how her past has influenced how she consumes different narratives in her life, be those of her marriage, working relationships, which includes her mentorship ties with her students, and her emotional network, which includes flirtatious threads she may have had with Hank in the past. At times the writing seems to veer close to Patrick Marber's "Closer" territory, but then moves in a different direction towards what Woody Allen did in "September" for instance. It's a film that populates interesting and very intellectual individuals in the center of a very emotional and carnal imbroglio, which isn't even what the story is truly about. This narrative is about uncovering who Alma really is, and by looking at her the director is asking for us to look at ourselves, by illustrating prior questionable decisions, by placing our ambition as a catalyst for a driver that forces us (and Alma) to come to terms with the ability to move past scruples, regrets, ambivalences, in order to get to our desired destination. It's a film that asks questions, and allows for these central characters to slowly reveal themselves to us. The central performances are great, particularly those of Julia Roberts and Michael Stuhlbarg. They get great support from Ayo Edebiri and Chloe Sevigny, and less so from Andrew Garfield, who is miscast in this role. The production team is solid, including the score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross (not to mention the songs from Caetano Veloso, Cesaria Évora and Ryuichi Sakamoto alongside John Adams), cinematography by Malik Hassan Sayeed, costume design by Giulia Piersanti, and Stefano Baisi's production design. It's another solid film from a very talented film maker, one worth watching.

Predator: Badlands

Movie Name: Predator: Badlands
Year of Release: 2025
Director: Dan Trachtenberg
Starring: Elle Fanning, Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi, Ravi Narayan, Chris Terhune, Cameron Brown, Stefan Grube, Reuben de Jong
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 7
Watch it on Hulu

Synopsis and Review

The last three features from writer/producer/director Dan Trachtenberg have all been in the "Predator" universe, and they've all been well received, and a great testament to his ability to revitalize this franchise, whose best episode up until his endeavors, was still John McTiernan's original feature from 1987. "Predator: Badlands" follows the story of Dek, a predator from the planet Yautja Prime. He is seeking the approval from his father, clan leader Njohrr, who considers him a disappointment and a disservice to the clan as he is smaller than his brother and the rest of the clan members. Njohrr orders his brother to kill Dek, but he chooses instead to save him, sacrificing himself in the process and sending Dek to the planet Genna, where Dek intends to kill a supreme predator and bring back a trophy to prove his worthiness. Dek crash lands on Genna, and immediately realizes that everything about that planet is hostile, including trees, grass, and nearly everything surrounding him. While trying to escape from a dangerous predator, Dek connects with Thia, a damaged android (she has no legs), who offers to help him escape. Upon explaining his intent on the planet, Thia states she can help, provided he can take her back to the area where her team briefly established a colony and where they were attacked by the Kalisk creature. While initially resistant to volunteer any assistance, Dek soon acquiesces and takes Thia with him. They're soon joined by another creature, someone Thia names Bud, who saves them from nearly being devoured. In the meantime another android similar to Thia, her "sister" Tessa is repaired, and instructed on the parameters of her mission, being warned not to fail, as there will be no leniency if she does. Dek and Thia reach the former working station, or what's left of it, and while Thia immediately attempts to get her legs reattached, Dek is soon confronted with the Kalisk, who turns out to be quite a challenge. 

Dan Trachtenberg and his creative team's take on the "Predator" franchise has been quite refreshing, because they're essentially bringing a different dimension to a character that was up until their involvement, a monolithic monster without much personality. "Prey" and "Badlands" have given different contexts in which these characters exist, allowing them to be seen as warrior clans with a strict sense of rules, and not solely as supporting (and forgettable) villainous creatures who are mortal foibles for their human challengers/victims. "Badlands" places the Predator creature in the center of the narrative, and the film is erected as a rite of passage for a young warrior who wants to prove himself and avenge his brother in the process. The film plays out like a slick and intelligent B-movie, who is further uplifted due to the introduction of the intelligent, humorous, and quasi-human android, perfectly embodied by Elle Fanning. The relationship between these two characters, a la "Midnight Run", evolves from initial suspicion to well established trust, illustrating the convergence of both their journeys in building and getting what they ultimately need: companionship. It's a very smartly conceived film with an impeccable momentum, that while at times over simplifies some of the challenges/friction elements that exist, it's nonetheless polished, well acted, with solid visual effects and great production values. The cast led by the fantastic Elle Fanning, who is masterful in this dual role, is solid, and while there could have been some additional nuance to the evolution of these characters, what they set out to do is perfectly rendered. The production team is impeccable, including Benjamin Wallfisch and Sara Schachner's score, Jeff Cutter's cinematography, Ra Vincent's production design, Ngila Dickson's costume design, the entire makeup and prosthetics team, and the entire visual effects team (stupendous). It's a very well done and entertaining feature. Worth watching.

The Island

Movie Name: The Island
Year of Release: 2005
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Steve Buscemi, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean, Michael Clarke Duncan, Ethan Phillips, Tom Everett
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 3
Watch it on Amazon Prime

Synopsis and Review

By the time he tackled "The Island", Michael Bay was coming off two big commercial hits, "Pear Harbor" and "Bad Boys II". The script originally written by Caspian Tredwell-Owen and then rewritten by Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, follows the story of a man called Lincoln Six Echo who lives in a secluded facility, alongside many others, where he leads a very regimented existence. It's 2019, and they've all been informed that life outside that facility has changed considerably and that the island where they live is the only area pathogen free which is still able to support human existence. Lincoln in the meantime has been having vivid dreams that are not related with his own life. He eventually discovers a live moth in a ventilation shaft, which prompts his deduction that life outside the facility isn't compromised. He eventually follows the moth to another section of the facility and discovers that the "lottery", which everyone always looks forward to, is in reality a system that takes people from the facility for organ harvesting, and that all the people in that program are actually clones. Lincoln's discoveries make him a target for Dr. Merrick, who runs the facility and wants to preserve it at all costs. He decides to escape, and takes Jordan Two Delta with him. Merrick in the meantime hires a mercenary to recover them and bring them back to the island. The two escapees in the meantime decide to discover more about the real world. 

"The Island", much like many dystopian type of features that have been released since the 1970s, including for instance Michael Anderson's "Logan's Run", all have very similar premises: a central hero is forced to uncover the harsher reality that lies behind the facade of a seemingly perfect society. These dystopian worlds and realities ultimately force the hero to confront his own sense of humanity, but also the foils, insecurities, and lustful violence of those who control and want to continue dominating whatever semblance of power they have. In other words, spin the world, the context, and the time, but human cruelty, thirst for power, and unbridled ambition never change. This type of universe can make for really interesting films and some examples include the unique takes of Terry Gilliam with his "12 Monkeys" or even The Wachowski siblings with "The Matrix", however Michael Bay lacks both the perspective and storytelling prowess to create something memorable from this material. There's something quite calculated and overly labored about "The Island " itself: starting with the casting of the young attractive performers from the time, populating the feature with prestige supporting cast (for credibility), and finally staging everything with enough acrobatics and muscular car chases to appease the right demographic (all this wrapped in a shiny cinematography and slick costume design). The result of this concoction is a soulless feature, where everything looks slick, but lacks verisimilitude, where talented actors try to bring dimension to characters that are lifeless and have very little in terms of motivation or even an arc. Even for a director who has made a career for himself of populating his films with quick jump cuts, objectification of women, and gratuitous explosions, all hidden behind this dated tv commercial aesthetic, "The Island" is one of his most forgettable endeavors, and that itself is one of its biggest flaws. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson, then trying to establish their careers within the industry, even if at different times in their careers, are completely wasted in this film, the same going for the supporting cast, which features Djimon Hounsou playing yet another villain with a soul, Sean Bean still attempting to maintain the momentum from "Lord of the Rings", and Steve Buscemi, whose ability to pepper his performances with just enough distinctiveness, is completely passed over. The production team, while greatly talented, services a very distasteful aesthetic, resulting in the work of Mauro Fiore (cinematography), Nigel Phelps (production design), and Steve Jablonsky (score), being less than stellar. It's a forgettable endeavor for everyone involved. 

Train Dreams

Movie Name: Train Dreams
Year of Release: 2025
Director: Clint Bentley
Starring: Joel Edgerton, Felicity Jones, William H. Macy, Kerry Condon, John Diehl, Clifton Collins Jr., Paul Schneider, Will Patton, Nathaniel Arcand, Eric Ray Anderson, Beau Charles
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 7
Watch it on Netflix

Synopsis and Review

"Train Dreams" is Clint Bentley's sophomore directorial endeavor, following his well received "Jockey". It's an adaptation of the novella by Denis Johnson, adapted by Bentley and his creative partner Greg Kwedar. The film follows the narrative of Robert Grainier, born in the late 1800s, who as an adult makes a living as a logger and railroad worker in the Idaho area. Robert stays mostly to himself, though he observes how other construction workers go about their lives and how they interact with each other. He eventually meets Gladys Olding, whom he falls in love with, and they both marry and build a log cabin near the Moyie River. They have a daughter whom they name Kate. Robert stays away from his family for months at a time, since he goes where work is available, and that means leaving his loved ones behind. As Kate keeps growing up, he feels that he is missing out on what matters the most to him, Gladys and Kate. They discuss scenarios that will enable him to make an income and stay closer to home, something that is a challenge particularly with the wrecked economy from post-World War I. However upon returning from his last contract as a logger, Robert is crushed to witness his family's log cabin destroyed in a wildfire, with Gladys and Kate nowhere in sight. Robert is desperate and keeps sleeping on the site and waiting for something to happen, raising the worries  of his friend Ignatius Jack. He eventually rebuilds the cabin and goes back to logging but soon realizes there's new ways of working in the field, and that he is out of place. He keeps walking through the woods in the hopes he can somehow connect or feel the spirits of his wife and daughter.

"Train Dreams" immediately brings to mind the work of Terrence Malick. The combination of a certain aesthetic, with this quasi philosophical and introspective stance, and voice-over/narration, are very indebted to the point of view Terrence Malick has created with some of his most well known features (including "The Thin Red Line" and "The Tree of Life"). However and what is interesting about Mr. Bentley's perspective, and how he has carved his own point of view with this feature, is the fact that he grounds the existence of his lead character in something more realistic and not so random as is typically the case with Mr. Malick's more recent filmic endeavors. There's nothing particularly self-indulgent about this film, quite the contrary: the writer/director manages to breathe life into the existence of Robert, making it feel authentic, even as he fails to overcome the pain of the loss of the life he was building with his wife, and how he eventually realizes just how distant from modern life he has become. He is portrayed as someone not entirely integrated with how most people live their lives, and he only truly blossoms when he discovers and embraces Gladys' love. It's ultimately a film that illustrates a quiet life, at a time when that was still possible to be lived, when all cruelty and brutality were visceral and violent, at times unavoidable, where people lived for shared experiences and not necessarily for grandiose gestures. It is a film that does bring to life another time, with characters that feel lived in, and with enough color to make them memorable. The cast is fantastic, particularly Joel Edgerton, Felicity Jones, William H. Macy, Kerry Condon, and the wonderful narration of Will Patton. The production team is equally impeccable, particularly Adolpho Veloso's cinematography, Bryce Dessner's score (and the beautiful song he and Nick Cave have created), and Alexandra Schaller's production design. It may not be for everyone's taste, but there's something quite arresting that stays with you after watching this film, even if it does feel a bit too much Terrence Malick derivative. Worth watching.

Sliding Doors

Movie Name: Sliding Doors
Year of Release: 1998
Director: Peter Howitt
Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, John Hannah, John Lynch, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Zara Turner, Douglas McFerran, Paul Brightwell, Kevin McNally, Nina Young
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 4
Watch it on Amazon Prime

Synopsis and Review

"Sliding Doors" premiered at the Sundance Film Festival of 1998, and it was one of 5 (!) feature film releases that had Gwyneth Paltrow as a lead during that year alone (the other being "Shakespeare in Love", "Hush", "Great Expectations", and "A Perfect Murder"). It was also Peter Howitt's feature directorial debut, after an already established career as an actor. The film focuses on the story of Helen, a young woman working in PR in London, who immediately suffers a setback at the beginning of the narrative: she's fired/let go very dramatically by her bosses. On her way back home the story has a bifurcation: on one part of the story, Helen catches the subway, and on the other she does not. The Helen who catches the subway briefly chats with James, a man she casually meets in the same carriage, about what just happened to her. James makes her smile. She comes home to find her live-in boyfriend fooling around on her with an American woman he had previously dated. Helen who did not catch the subway on time, comes home after the tryst has already happened, and is inquiring Gerry, her boyfriend, why there are liquor glasses in their bedroom. While the first Helen moves out of the apartment, and moves in with her best friend Anna, deciding to change her visual, and start her own business, the second Helen tries to make ends meet by working multiple jobs, one of them as a waitress, the other as a caterer, all this to also support Gerry, who is a writer and does not work for a living. The first Helen also strikes a relationship with James, who turns out to be funny, kind, and insightful, whereas Gerry tries to ingratiate himself with her since the relationship with Lydia isn't going anywhere. These parallel threads come to a halt when Helen(s) suffer an accident, and she suddenly realizes decisions have to be made.

One can't help but realize that as "Sliding Doors" goes on (and on), that the events taking place are eerily similar to any plot that could have easily been illustrated in any soap opera, from whatever country you pick. The film thankfully isn't pretentious and the writer/director doesn't attempt to do a more straightforward version of "The Double Life of Veronique" which is one of Krzysztof Kieslowski's masterpieces, but the path Mr. Howitt chooses to take is a rather banal one, that also seems underdeveloped since Helen remains elusive and under-developed for the entire duration of the narrative. It's startling to realize that for once the supporting characters seem to have a bit more of backstory and motivation, than the actual lead character does. Both James and Gerry get a chance to have more of their lives and motivations flushed out, whereas Helen feels more reactive to whatever the situations are presenting at her, and we never get to understand where's her family, what motivates her to stay with Gerry, or even how she found herself in that particular professional path of hers. While the film does provide a slice of her life, in that particular time frame, it simply feels under-developed, with plenty of narrative gaps and filled with tropes that feel quite dated. The cast is solid, though Gwyneth Paltrow with the brunette wig, trying to portray a waitress/caterer, simply doesn't work, she's not particularly convincing as a working class/Mike Leigh inspired character. Her other version, blonde with the fancier haircut, seems closer to her comfort zone, and she's more convincing there. She gets solid support from John Hannah, John Lynch (whose character Gerry, though a loser, seems like a magnet for beautiful women), and the always solid Jeanne Tripplehorn (who tries really hard to convince us that looking like she does, she has a deep desire for someone with Gerry's moral compass and professional abilities!!). The production team is solid, though Remi Adefarasin's cinematography is a bit washed out (the work he did for Shekhar Kapur's "Elizabeth" was far more inspired). It's not a particularly inspired film, and one that is ultimately quite forgettable. 

Trick

Movie Name: Trick
Year of Release: 1999
Director: Jim Fall
Starring: Christian Campbell, John Paul Pitoc, Tori Spelling, Steve Hayes, Brad Beyer, Clinton Leupp, Kevin Chamberlin, Lacey Kohl
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 4
Watch it on Amazon Prime

Synopsis and Review

"Trick" came out at the end of the 1990s, following a string of LGBTQIA independent films that defined the New Queer Cinema wave, which included Todd Hayne's "Poison", Tom Kalin's "Swoon", Rose Troche's "Go Fish", Gregg Araki's "The Living End", and the ones from the end of that decade such as Dan Ireland's "The Velocity of Gary" and Don Roo's "The Opposite of Sex". All these films were made on shoestring budgets and were met with different levels of acclaim, however Jim Fall's feature directorial debut, "Trick", which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival of 1999, attempted to bring an almost rom-com styling to this story of boy meets boy in New York. The narrative follows the story of Gabriel, a young gay man who moonlights as an office temp worker during the day, but who actually has the ambition and dream of becoming a successful Broadway composer. While at a gay bar he makes eye contact with one of the go-go dancers, Mark, whom he sees once again in the subway later that night. They decide to hook up but their attempt is firstly derailed by Gabriel's best friend and wannabe actress, Katherine, followed by a second derailment brought on by Gabriel's roommate Rich, who also wants to hook up with his girlfriend. The two young men spend the rest of the night trying to figure out where to consummate their lust, while progressively learning more about who they are and what their lives are all about.

There's something "After Hours" inspired going on with the film "Trick". The central characters' attempts at having some intimacy are constantly derailed, either by egocentric friends, or by viciously obnoxious characters, sadly none of these with the levels of entertainment or color that Martin Scorsese captured so fantastically in the classic "After Hours" (no one in "Trick" reaches the heights of Teri Garr nor Catherine O'Hara). Most of the characters in "Trick" are somewhat of a cliché, very common to so many of the films with a LGBTQIA tone that premiered in the 1990s, including the shy and sensitive central lead, the quasi-unapproachable hunk who functions as the love interest, the annoyingly delusional best friend, and an array of somewhat "colorful" supporting cameos, that don't register enough to be considered characters, but who show up to illustrate just how diverse the gay vibe actually is (they're embodiments of a particular trait, not so much characters). One of biggest issues with "Trick" is the tone that it has: for a film that is about two people wanting to be together, it lacks urgency, passion, the same going for all the characters that populate the film, they lack authenticity, something that renders them as more than just passive bystanders. This illustration of gay New York resembles more of a postcard rather than a visceral and memorable portrayal of gay youth at the time. Whereas "After Hours" was feverish, surreal, genuinely funny, and tremendously sexy, and for instance the deeply flawed and controversial "Cruising" from director William Friedkin, had a mix of half-baked characters, with others that were far more complex, they all attempted to create something memorable and representative of the culture at the time, "Trick" is a subdued and almost anemic view of the city and gay life in the late 1990s (far different than what Darren Star and Michael Patrick King were doing at the time with "Sex and the City"). It's a film that fears cranking the volume too much, and therefore ends up being almost too quiet (in comparison, Paul Bogart's "Torch Song Trilogy" from a decade earlier, manages to be more vibrant even if at times it's stage legacy is very present). The cast tries their best with the material, particularly Christian Campbell who makes for a solid lead presence, with good cameos from the talented Kevin Chamberlin and Clinton Leupp/Ms. Coco Peru. The production team is serviceable but unremarkable. It's a watchable but ultimately forgettable film that closed the decade that saw some striking films in this genre make some bold statements. 

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Movie Name: If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
Year of Release: 2025
Director: Mary Bronstein
Starring: Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Delaney Quinn, Asap Rocky, Mary Bronstein, Christian Slater, Ivy Wolk, Manu Narayan, Daniel Zolghadri, Mark Stolzenberg
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 5
Watch it on HBO Max

Synopsis and Review

"If I Had Legs I'd Kick You" had its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival of 2025, and has been collecting accolades for Rose Byrne's leading performance since then. It's the feature directorial debut for actor/writer/director Mary Bronstein. The film focuses its narrative on Linda, a psychotherapist whom we first encounter dealing with serious health issues related to her young daughter's ability to eat (her daughter is fed through a gastric feeding tube each night). Linda's stress levels increase when one evening while attempting to have dinner with her daughter, the roof of her apartment caves in and the space is flooded. Her husband whom she talks to every day on the phone is working remotely and isn't able to come in to help them. Linda and her daughter are forced to move into a motel while the renovations on the apartment take place, which also become delayed when the chief contractor has to leave the assignment due to personal problems. Linda's clients at the clinic where she works are also getting increasingly troublesome, with one in particular whose name is Caroline and is suffering from paranoia and postpartum anxiety, calling her at late hours. Linda's stress levels are also heightened by the constant pressure from her daughter's doctor who almost berates her incessantly due to the fact that she doesn't show up for family therapy sessions. Linda's unparalleled pressure, her lack of rest, start a downward spiraling of her life, firstly with Caroline, her client, who abandons her newborn baby in one of their sessions, followed by Linda's decision to abandon one of the group meetings at the hospital where her daughter is getting treated.

"If I Had Legs I'd Kick You" is a quirky film. At least for me. I spent most of my time trying to understand if this film was a conceptual piece on the disintegration of someone's mental health/sanity, or if this was a contemporary take on John Cassavetes' "A Woman Under the Influence". At the end of watching this film I was puzzled by what exactly is it trying to say or illustrate. Most art pieces create different reactions from the audience who consumes it, and after consuming this feature the most striking aspect about it was how little I knew about Linda after spending two hours witnessing the deluge of challenges she was presented with. This wasn't exactly "stress porn", where the lead character is placed through the ringer, until she finally snaps, though it walks a fine line in the neighborhood of that topic, but ultimately what surprised me the most about this film, is how little was understood from the characters that populated it. Granted this is a character study on Linda, her tribulations, and her spiraling, but all the characters who populate her orbit, are puzzle pieces that don't particularly fit, and of whom we know very little of as well. After spending 2 hours with these characters, and going on this journey with Linda, witnessing much of these events from her perspective, I asked myself once more "what is the point that this writer/director is trying to make". And maybe I'm not sophisticated enough to perceive what is happening here, but ultimately I realize all we do in life is tell stories, sometimes more linearly than others, and sometimes more deconstructed and metaphorical than others. However, most of what I got from this feature film was more questions than insights, more bewilderment than realizations, and maybe that's what the auteur/director was trying to create, but overall and as a feature film, it's not a particularly satisfying one. The cast is game for what happens in this film, particularly Rose Byrne, a performer whom I tremendously admire (she's so versatile and solid in everything she does). The production team is equally solid, with highlights going to Christopher Messina's cinematography and Carmen Davis' production design. It's an interesting film, but one that I don't think hits the target that it thinks it does. 

Caught Stealing

Movie Name: Caught Stealing
Year of Release: 2025
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Starring: Austin Butler, Regina King, Zoe Kravitz, Matt Smith, Liev Schreiber, Vincent D'Onofrio, Carol Kane, Griffin Dunne, Laura Dern, Action Bronson, Nikita Kukushkin, Yuri Kolokolnikov, Bad Bunny, Janelle McDermoth, Tenoch Huerta
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 7
Watch it on Amazon Prime

Synopsis and Review

Following the well received "The Whale", director Darren Aronofsky is back with an adaptation of the book "Caught Stealing" by the author of the novel itself, Charlie Huston. The narrative follows the story of Hank Thompson, a twenty-something bartender in New York in the late 1990s, who is charismatic and friendly, but who also carries with him the burden of an unfulfilled dream of being a big baseball player. His dream was shattered as a result of a brutal car accident which also resulted in the death of one of his high school friends. Hank gets along with his boss Paul, and has a solid relationship with Yvonne, who is hoping he finds a way to overcome his trauma and make something out of his life (or at least embrace something that will make him have more ownership of his destiny). Hank's friend Russ shows up at his place, asking him to take care of his cat while he goes to London to check on his dad who is not doing so well. Shortly after Hank receives the visit of two Russian mobsters who are looking for Russ. They beat him up pretty severely and Hank ends up in the hospital, minus one kidney as a result of the beating. Yvonne tends to him. He is also visited by narcotics detective Elise Roman who reveals that Russ is a drug dealer who is connected with various criminal gangs, including the brutal Hasidic Drucker brothers. Hank uncovers a hidden key Russ left behind, which he realizes is tied with what all the gangsters are looking for. While being interrogated by the returning Russians and their Puerto Rican associate, he admits to it, though after a night of drinking he doesn't know what happened to the key. Hank is eventually also pursued by the Druckers, and fearing for what might happen to Yvonne he goes back to her apartment to let her know. However he's too late, as she's been brutally murdered, which sends him down a spiral of grief and retribution. 

"Caught Stealing" is possibly one of the most straightforward features Darren Aronofsky has created thus far in his career. It perfectly captures the energy of New York of the late 1990s, and does so with the right amount of grit, humor, and energy. Of all of his features thus far it is also quite possibly his most lighthearted and funny, bringing to mind the ironic noir/thrillers of the early 2000s such as Paul McGuigan's "Lucky Number Slevin" or Jonathan Lynn's "The Whole Nine Yards". Most of these characters are very slight in their characterization and description, existing mostly on the courtesy of the charisma of the performers, but they all feel quite colorful and always engaging. Where Darren Aronofsky's gifted hand comes across is particularly on the pained existence of Hank, his everlasting bruise of missing his big opportunity, of the disappointment for himself and his mother, and the cross he bears on the death of his high school friend. There's something hinting at a different vibe and direction there, but that doesn't really crystalize, with the narrative instead being mostly focused on this fish out of water type of scenario, where Hank just wants to get out of all the trouble his friend brought up. The film has some tonal issues that could have been handled a bit better (the dark comedy could have been emphasized a bit more), but overall it ends up being a quite entertaining feature. The cast is solid and quite talented, particularly Matt Smith who creates a great punk has-been, while Austin Butler manages to make Hank a sweet and lovable self-saboteur type of hero. The production team is top notch, particularly the impeccable cinematography from Matthew Libatique, score from Rob Simonsen, and production design from Mark Friedberg. Worth watching. 

Opus

Movie Name: Opus
Year of Release: 2025
Director: Mark Anthony Green
Starring: Ayo Edebiri, John Malkovich, Juliette Lewis, Murray Bartlett, Melissa Chambers, Tony Hale, Stephanie Suganami, Mark Sivertsen, Amber Midthunder, Tatanka Means, Aspen Martinez, Peter Diseth, Tamera Tomakili, Jasper Keen, Young Mazino
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 5
Watch it on HBO Max

Synopsis and Review

"Opus" premiered at the Sundance Film Festival of 2025, and it's Mark Anthony Green's feature directorial debut. The narrative focuses on Ariel Ecton, a 27 year old writer who has worked for a magazine for 3 years without making much advancement in her career. Her mentor/friend tells her that is challenging to take her opinion as something with merit when she hasn't experienced anything in her life. She, alongside her editor Stan, are unexpectedly invited by reclusive pop/rock icon Alfred Moretti to his compound in Utah, as he's about to release his 18th album, after years of living off the grid. Ariel and Stan, alongside 4 other specially selected guests, Clara, Bianca, Emily, and Bill, arrive at the sprawling estate, where they're asked to surrender their cell phones and laptops. They're each assigned an assistant who follows their every step, and all the individuals in the compound are part of a cult knows as Levelists. Ariel is uneasy about the atmosphere of the place, whereas her peers are exhilarated by the presence of Alfred and his charisma. Bill decides to get a massage and is attacked while on the massage table. Ariel finds herself a target of a forceful do-over, which crosses a line into her personal body integrity, which she realizes has also been extended to her peers. While discussing her extreme unease with Stan he is shot with an arrow and has to get medical attention. In the interim, Emily also disappears, all the while Alfred and the Levelists keep coming up with random excuses as to why they're not present with the rest of the group. Ariel eventually manages to elude her assistant, and discovers that their personal phones have all been rendered useless. She quickly packs and is intent on leaving, much to the surprise of Stan and the others. Alfred tries to appease her, and they reach a compromise where she watches a puppet show from the children until the bus arrives to take her back to the plane. However while the performance is taking place, things take a dark turn. 

"Opus" is an interesting film that tries to be many things at once, simultaneously a satire at the cult of personality that exists in society, but also a dig at all cults that prey on people's weaknesses. The writer/director provides meager context on the central character Ariel, and even less on all the other guests of the compound, the same going for the iconic Alfred Moretti. All these characters lack authenticity, particularly Moretti who comes across more like a mature version of a regular villain John Malkovich as previously played, as opposed to an iconic and universally celebrated musician who has been away from audiences for years. There's a distinct lack of color and nuance to these characters, all of whom could be ripe with details based on their past interactions with Moretti, but who as it turns out, have very little to do or say about the whole endeavor. Mr. Green decides instead to rely on the cult side of the narrative to keep the momentum going, and while that aspect is well achieved (it's a darker version of the cult Carol White from Todd Haynes' "Safe" ends up living in) courtesy of an unsettling atmosphere that is created, it's simply too evident and sadly is also very bluntly illustrated (there's no subtlety with the characters that are part of the cult). By the time the third chapter comes around, the outcome is expected, as is the ending. The film overall is not poorly conceived, and there's much to admire about its ambition: it simply needs more room to expand its topics and characters. The cast is solid, even if they don't have much to do: Ayo Edebiri creates a strong central character, whereas John Malkovich is poorly cast in the pop star role (Colin Firth would have been a better choice). Juliette Lewis and Murray Bartlett both of whom are so great in everything they do (and have great chemistry together), end up underutilized. The production team is solid, including Tommy Maddox-Upshaw's cinematography, Nile Rodgers and The-Dream's songs, Robert Pyzocha's production design, and Shirley Kurata's costume design. It's not as terrible as some reviews may have portrayed it, but it certainly could have been better. 

Zombieland: Double Tap

Movie Name: Zombieland: Double Tap
Year of Release: 2019
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Zoey Deutch, Rosario Dawson, Abigail Breslin, Luke Wilson, Avan Jogia, Thomas Middleditch, Victor Rivera, Victoria Hall
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 5
Watch it on Amazon

Synopsis and Review

After making a splash with his feature directorial debut, the original "Zombieland" in 2009, director Ruben Fleischer fired off in all directions, with most of them actually ending up being misfires of a certain dimension. He has managed to balance his big screen misfires on films such as "Gangster Squad" and "Venom", with work on TV Shows that have been quite successful, including "Santa Clarita Diet", "Superstore", and "The Good Doctor". The narrative picks up ten years later after the events of the first film, with the group of Tallahassee, Columbus, Wichita, and Little Rock now living in the White House, and having a semblance of a normal domestic life, or as much it can be had in the middle of a zombie outbreak, where the zombies themselves have learnt to adapt (and evolve). Little Rock has grown up and is now a young adult, who is constantly bickering with the father figure embodied by Tallahassee. In the meantime, Columbus and Wichita's romantic relationship has continued, and he has decided to propose. Wichita and Little Rock decide to take off, the former avoiding having to give a response to Columbus and the latter tired of the fathering from Tallahassee, and her desire to find someone her own age, and possibly even have a boyfriend. Columbus and Tallahassee are surprised, but in the meantime connect with another survivor, a young woman by the name of Madison who has survived by hiding inside a Pinkberry store. Madison and Columbus have a fling, and shortly after Wichita reappears looking for weapons, letting them know her sister has taken off with a quasi-hippie guy she has met (named Berkeley). They all decide to go in search of Little Rock, firstly in the direction of Elvis' Graceland. Upon arrival the group realizes Graceland is a wreck, but they meet another survivor by the name of Nevada, who lets them know Little Rock took off in the direction of Babylon, a sanctuary of sorts for survivors, with her new friend Berkeley. The group is then joined by what seems to be a clone of Tallahassee and Columbus, who both turn out to have more than a wicked personality hidden up their sleeves. 

"Zombieland" turned out to be quite a success, since it managed to deftly combine dark humor, with action, and enough pop culture references to make it a film that resonated with the audiences upon its release. After 10 years and multiple attempts at making the sequel, this continuation of the story tries its best to recapture the chemistry between all the lead actors, which is for the most part still intact. However one of the main issues with the film turns out to be the script: for all its good intentions, the characters are not given much to do in this follow up. These characters never had much in terms of dimension, beyond the archetypes they played around with, which included the iconic hillbilly, the verbose intellectual, the resourceful and beautiful grifter, and her adoringly precocious little sister. While some of these traits remain in this sequel, they stall since they don't have much to do beyond what they've already covered in the original feature, which is why the film introduces the hilarious Madison, played to perfection by the talented Zoey Deutch (who actually steals all the scenes she's in), and Nevada played by Rosario Dawson (which is just a slightly different version of the character she played in "Sin City"). The script tries to keep its ironic and self deprecating angle by poking fun at itself, introducing the quasi clones to Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg's characters, but that episode extends itself, and sadly doesn't really propel the narrative forward. Ultimately for all the noise the film creates, and it does create quite a bit of it, it is undermined by a script that doesn't know where to take these characters, and that doesn't know how to introduce more complexity to this universe (as if introducing it would dilute the branding and style of the franchise). The cast is solid, but the new additions, particularly Zoey Deutch fare particularly better than the veterans of the franchise. The production team is solid, including Chung-hoon Chung's cinematography, David Sardy's score, and Martin Whist's production design (the way he constructed the sets of Babylon is quite inventive). It's a film that treads on fresher material from the prior film, and feels less original as a result. But it's still watchable largely due to a spirited cast. 

Verdens Verste Menneske/The Worst Person in the World

Movie Name: Verdens Verste Menneske/The Worst Person in the World
Year of Release: 2021
Director: Joachim Trier
Starring: Renate Reinsve, Anders Danielsen Lie, Herbert Nordrum, Hans Olav Brenner, Helene Bjorneby, Maria Grazia Di Meo, Vidar Sandem, Lasse Gretland, Marianne Krogh, Thea Stabell, Karen Roise Kielland
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 8
Watch it on Tubi

Synopsis and Review

Following the well received "Louder than Bombs" and "Thelma", writer/director Joachim Trier premiered "The Worst Person in the World" at the Cannes Film Festival of 2021, to critical acclaim, winning in the process the award for best actress for Renate Reinsve. The film introduces us to Julie, a twenty-something medical student, whom we witness having a change of heart, and deciding to pursue psychology instead, before settling on photography. Julie starts a relationship with Aksel Willman, an illustrator and comic artist, who is considerably older than her. He has some reservations starting the relationship with her precisely because of their age difference, but is finally won over by Julie's beauty and somewhat carefree spirit. While Julie meshes with Aksel's friends, there's an obvious age difference with the group, which is also obvious in the fact that his friends have families and children. This motivates Aksel to discuss starting a family with Julie, which eventually results in them having a fight. Aksel has a publishing party, and Julie decides to leave earlier. On her way home she crashes a wedding reception taking place and meets Eivind, a barista. They have instant chemistry, and end up spending a night together, sharing stories and intimacies, but refraining from having sex since they're both involved with other people. In the morning they part ways only sharing their first names. Julie writes a short story about feminism that gains some attention and shortly after celebrates her 30th birthday. Her father doesn't show up, making up an excuse for it, which upon Julie and Aksel's visit to his place turns out to be uncovered when her half sister explains what he was doing. Julie who in the meantime has been working in a bookstore, encounters Eivind and his girlfriend browsing around. She eventually decides to break up with Aksel, and shortly after so does Eivind with his girlfriend. 

One of the most interesting aspects of "The Worst Person in the World" is the ability the co-writer/director has of making these characters all feel palpably real. This trifecta of central characters, and in particular Julie, all come across as people trying to find the best path for their lives, uncovering what suits them best, sometimes stumbling into poor decisions, and at times coming to terms with realizations that are right in front of them but that they simply have failed to acknowledge (namely Julie's relationship with an absent father, who simply invests all his time and attention on his new family). It's a film that is observational in the best of senses: it does not judge its characters, it simply allows for the complexity of who they are come to the surface, showcasing what their decision making actually is, and where they eventually find themselves as a result of it. It's easy to state that this microcosms is representative of the millennial generation's anguish towards their lives and how they can't stomach the consequences of their actions, but that is reducing the impact of this narrative. This feature illustrates how the journey of growing up isn't a perfectly balanced one, where all the decisions that one makes are not motivated by the noblest of sentiments: it illustrates that life is a collection of colorful moments, some that are more inspired, and others that are representative of people at their worst. Julie for all her good intentions, and her focus on self discovery, hurts others in that process, even if that is not her intent. Is she a bit self-centered and slightly egocentric? Maybe so, but that's what the film eventually asks us to think about: aren't we all in a way just like Julie, living a life that we think is like a movie, where we're driven by lust, frustration, and pursuit of a fleeting moments of happiness. It's a film that is peppered with such great details, character wise but also visually speaking. The cast is uniformly great, particularly Renate Reinsve, who deservedly got a string of awards for her performance as Julie, with great support from Anders Danielsen Lie and Herbert Nordrum. The production team is equally solid, particularly Kasper Tuxen's cinematography and Ola Flottum's score. It's a finely crafted film worth watching and savoring.

I Don't Understand You

Movie Name: I Don't Understand You
Year of Release: 2024
Director: David Joseph Craig, Brian Crano
Starring: Andrew Rannells, Nick Kroll, Morgan Spector, Eleonora Romandini, Nunzia Schiano, Amanda Seyfried, Paolo Romano, Cecilia Dazzi, Leonardo Verni
Score out of ten (whole numbers only): 4
Watch it on Hulu

Synopsis and Review

"I Don't Understand You" is the feature directorial debut of the directing team of David Joseph Craig and Brian Crano (though Brian Crano has a few directorial endeavors of his own as part of his filmography). The film follows the story of a married couple, Cole and Dom, who live in the Los Angeles area, and who are trying to go through with an adoption process for their first child. They have been previously scammed, so they're going into this next process with some apprehension. They are also on their way to Italy to celebrate their 10 year anniversary. They quickly connect with the birth mother, a woman by the name of Candace, who assures them that their application was the one that touched her the most. While in Italy, they connect with Daniele, an old friend of Dom's father, who has arranged for them to have a wonderful meal with a celebrated and somewhat reclusive restaurant owner. They eventually make their way to the remote locale, getting lost in the process, and eventually meet the elderly Zia Luciana, who is the cook and also used to own the restaurant. While the couple doesn't understand a word she's saying, she invites them to sit, and starts serving them a freshly baked pizza and wine. Cole wants to leave the place as soon as possible, but as they're trying to get their phone in order to secure a way back to the hotel, the power goes out. There's some chaos and Cole accidentally knocks Zia down a flight of stairs. They're horrified when they can't catch a pulse, and even more so when they try CPR on her, and hear bones cracking. They decide to bring Zia upstairs to the dining area, and hide her under the table. Unexpectedly Massimo, Zia's son, arrives with both their rental car, and also an insistent desire for them to stay and eat more with the family.

"I Don't Understand You" is a film that tries to be quite a few different things but that sadly fails to find the right tone and direction in which it wants to go. One of the aspects of the narrative is the quite emotional journey of a gay couple on their path to fatherhood, with their fears and anxieties pertaining to be parents and even more so, avoiding falling into the trap of another expensive scam. The other aspect of the narrative is the dark and bloody comedy that appears midway during the film, one that takes the feature in a very different direction, trying to elicit more comedy due to the over-the-top situation in which the characters find themselves. While the first aspect of the narrative is successful, particularly the relationship between the couple which feels vividly illustrated, the second aspect feels dastardly put together. The writing and directing duo fail to go all in with the dark and macabre tone they introduce, for fear of possibly alienating the audiences from the ground they have built humanizing that lovely gay couple. While the filmmakers don't necessarily need to adopt an Eli Roth approach to the gore and killing that ensues, the film feels rather anemic, and not fully embracing of the premise that they just introduced. The filmmakers commit a cardinal mistake in situations such as these: they don't relish the situation they just created, opting instead to illustrate these morally corrupt individuals as people with good intentions, that have done some terrible things, but that ultimately meant well, and therefore have the right to a happy ending. The narrative should have been far more visceral, committed, and funnier, since this film presents itself as a comedy that doesn't have many laughs. The cast is a bit all over the place, but Nick Kroll and Andrew Rannells have great chemistry. The production team is polished, in particular the cinematography from Lowell A. Meyer. It's not an unwatchable film, it's just not a particularly memorable one.